How do you deal with disappointment?

Sometimes whenever I think of the cliche “you can never get what you want so deal with it”, I just smile.  And oftentimes I ask myself, should I stop then and there if that situation arises?  If I can’t have what I wanted, should I just give up?  Should I try till the last shred of hope in me falters?  Then I remembered a good friend of mine whose life never fails to amaze me.  She has lupos, a disease which eats up your immune system until such time that your anti-bodies are the ones causing your organs to malfunction.  Even though she was diagnosed with this deadly disease, still she showed a great zest for life.  And I told myself, how is it possible to live life normally when all your hopes seem to crash on you?  How do we deal with life’s disappointment? Do we throw tantrums? Do we sulk around in the corner? Do we lose faith?  Or do we treat them as blessings in disguise?  There are things that we won’t normaly do when life is ok, when life seems to be on our side.  But how about when odds seem to be against you? Whenever I’m confronted with disappointments, I just close my eyes and try to think clearly so I can make a good decision.  It’s of no use to mull around the problem until you become absorbed by it.  I must admit that there are things in life that we have no control of.  But do we stop there? NO.  We’ll just have to try harder, try to be better and learn from the lessons of our disappointment.  More importantly I try not to affect the people around me nor blame them for whatever misfortune that I encountered.  It’s how I turn around the experience that matters.  It doesn’t mean that you fail that you can’t move forward.  There’s always this idea of getting up and continuing the journey, in case you haven’t heard of it haha.  Life will always have a way to disappoint us, from not being able to eat what we crave, to not being able to accomplish what we intend to.  It’s one of those elements that spice life up.  Well then so what?  We might also  have forgotten, life is also about moving on —  moving on from mistakes and moving forward to furthering ourselves to be better.

When the wrong one loves you right

I was listening to this particular song by Celine Dion “When The Wrong One loves You Right”, when I was struck by what it was trying to tell us.  It doesn’t matter who that person is but when the one true love comes along, you don’t really have a choice but to give in to it. It’s like trying to push yourself into a heavy wall.  No matter how hard you try, the wall will not move, it will just stay there, waiting for you to give up.  Ok, you may not like the person, he/she might not be your ideal guy/girl.  Maybe you can’t just find what you’re looking for in that person.  But haven’t you asked yourself, maybe I’m too focused on finding my ideals that I failed to notice it’s been there all along in front of me?  How can we say he/she is not the right one for us?  Does love really have a gauge as to who is fitting and who is not? More importantly, can we say no to a person who loves us right? I mean the term love itself is so broad, the connotation varies from one person to another, from one experience to another.  So is there a right and wrong when it comes to loving someone?  Which would you rather love,  your ideal person or someone whose ideal is you?  I know it’s difficult to choose.  Human as we are, we tend to hope – hope that someday our ideal person will love us back.  But haven’t we realized the feeling is mutual for that person whom we chose to ignore? Maybe we’re trying so hard to suppress the feelings that are about to surface.  Maybe we’re just afraid to come face to face with the fact that the person who’s less of our ideals can give us the affection and attention that we can’t get from anybody else.  Sometimes this thought horrifies me haha.  What if indeed the wrong one will love me right?  I can’t even answer that question yet because to be honest I’m not sure if I’m ready to be loved by the “wrong one”.  I know it can be shallow of me to even entertain the thought about a wrong one because I know in love, there is no wrong nor right.  So, can’t we really fight, can’t run, can’t stop, can’t hide, can’t resist when the wrong one loves us right?

Penne with Sausage and Cream Sauce

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons canola or vegetable oil
1 pound bulk sweet sausage
4 cloves garlic, cracked and chopped
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 bay leaf, fresh or dried
1 cup chicken stock
2 cups meat sauce
1/2 cup heavy cream
 Coarse salt and black pepper
1 pound penne rigate, cooked to al dente
Romano or Parmigiano, for grating

Directions:

Heat a large, deep nonstick skillet over medium high heat. Add 1 tablespoon of canola or vegetable to the pan and brown the sausage in it. Transfer sausage to paper towel lined plate. Drain fat from skillet and return pan to the stove. Add the remaining tablespoon oil, and then the garlic and onion. Saute 3 to 5 minutes until the onions are tender.

Add bay leaf to the pan. Add stock and meat sauce, stirring sauce until it comes to a bubble. Return sausage to pan, reduce heat, and stir in cream. Season the sauce with salt and pepper, to taste. Simmer mixture 5 to 10 minutes to thicken sauce.

Return drained pasta to the pot you cooked it in. Remove the bay leaf from sauce. Combine sauce and pasta and toss over low heat for 1 minute. Garnish the pasta with lots of shaved cheese.

Everyday Miracles

I just read an email sent to me by a good friend of mine.  It’s about Bo Sanchez’s article about life and its little  miracles.  The story was insipiring.  Bo only had 9,700 (or so he thought) in his wallet when friends started calling him, asking for financial help.  He would be left with nothing of course but he opted to share what he had to those who need it the most.  It turned out he had more stashed away in his drawer, he thought he just miscounted his savings.  I can really relate to this story.  I read it over and over and for all I knew, I got misty eyed haha.  It’s because I remembered those times when we were still struggling to make ends meet.  My mum was the only one earning money and whatever she can send to us, we’ll just have to make whatever out of it.  Sometimes her allotment comes a little bit late that I had to look for other means to keep us afloat.  And of course, there were my relatives who think we’re some sort of an ATM.  Whenever I ran out of money,  I just close my eyes and ask God for help.  The following day would be a miracle.  It’s either my late dad’s pension voucher will arrive or out of the blue,  people will just begin paying me their debts.  Then I would silently thank God.  Not only on finances I have felt God’s miraculous presence.  Whenever I’m in doubt, when personal problems seem to overwhelm me, I just ask HIM for guidance.  I go home late every night and there’s always that risk of getting robbed, robbery is rampant nowadays here in the city.  I just rest my fate in HIM.  Everyday, if we’re just looking around, we’ll realize we encounter a lot of miracles.  From being able to wake up every morning (some people don’t), to being able to go home to your family every night, safely.  We should be more appreciative of the life we were given and stop whining how difficult our situations are.  Instead of complaining, let’s channel our energy to doing something productive like accomplishing our goals for the day.  Let’s just be thankful for whatever blessing we receive everyday and savor every moment of it.  Some people get to eat only once a day, some don’t get to express what they feel or what they think because if they did, they’ll be six feet under the ground, some don’t get to sleep in a decent home.  We’re lucky we get to do the things that we want.  Let’s help those who are in need in any way that we could.  More importantly, let’s help ourselves.  We can give more if we have enough to offer.

Love Songs

I can’t sleep so I’m spending the wee hours of the morning listening to love songs.  I don’t really know why I’m doing this haha.  I’m normally apathetic, impassive when it comes to love.  Sometimes I feel that I couldn’t feel that strong emotion anymore, that it will take a special person to make me feel that way again.  I like seeing my friends fall inlove and be happy, but myself? I dunno.  But anyway, I’m not feeling lonely.  It’s just my mind seemed to have automatically decided that I should listen to love songs haha.  Which made me wonder.  Why do we spend hours listening to love songs? Because they inspire us, love songs have this relaxing effect to our senses.  Like a good massage after a gruelling day of work.  I love the more classic, more refined, mellow-jazz songs.  Songs that can make me fall asleep.  Whenever I listen to love songs, I always close my eyes and feel the emotion of the song.  I allow myself to drift into the oblivion, to be lost in the intensity of the message.  Sometimes I can even listen to the same song over and over again haha.  You don’t need to be inlove to listen to love songs.  Nor you don’t have to be heartbroken to savor the entrancing melody and lyrics.  Love songs allow your mind to relax, they allow your emotion to be in tuned with your current state of being.  They make your senses in sync, make you feel at peace with the world.  Love songs are really the soundtrack of my life.  Here are some love songs I won’t get tired listening to:

1.  If I’m Not Inlove (Kathy Troccoli)

2.  Forever Love (Gary Barlow)

3.  Love Takes Time (Mariah Carey)

4.  Maybe (Neocolours)

5.  You’re Still You (Josh Groban)

6.  How Do You Heal A Broken Heart (Chris Walker)

7.  I Love You, Goodbye (Celine Dion)

8.  Forever Yours (Wendy Moten)

9.  Before I Let You Go (Freestyle)

10. You Don’t Miss Your Water (Craig David)

Nostalgia

A week ago, I chanced upon an old friend of mine in Facebook.  It’s been a very long time since we last saw each other.  After our graduation in elementary–which is about 16 years ago, we haven’t seen each other since.  I’m not really that old haha.  Seeing her was like a flashback.  Some good old memories came back, one by one, slowly.  Those were the days when we were so carefree, when we were so uninhibited, when we didn’t care if we did stupid things.  All we care about was having fun and enjoying each other’s company.  Reminiscing those memories made me smile and linger with fondness.  It reminded me of those days when we always had the excuse of getting out of our houses and go wherever we want and hung out, basically the “bulakbol” days haha.  Chatting with her made  me realized how fast time passed by.  We are now professionals, some of us even have families of their own.  She’s working in the US already, a dream she always had ever since.  I guess she worked hard for it and she deserved whatever success that she’s enjoying right now.  It made me think twice on my future plans.  Where am I gonna be 10 years from now? It dawned on me that I need to put my perspectives into action.  Time to lay down the cards and consider my priorities.  Sometimes I like feeling a bit of a nostalgic.  Being able to reminisce the good old days is something that keeps my foot on the ground.  It made me remember who I am and where I came from.

The art of letting go

I was just chatting with my friends in Facebook when the idea of writing this struck me.  They were kind of a bit emotional when the talk about their past relationships is in discussion.  It made me think hard.  Do we really ever let go of someone who has been a part of us? And if we are able to manage to do so, then how?  It might have been 1, 2, 3 years since you broke up with your gf/bf but have you really moved on? The familiar things that you both used to do, the familiar places that you both went to.  The way he/she laughs, talks, gets excited, flips her hair, purses her lips when in deep thought, narrows his eyes when he’s mad.  Are all of these keep on coming back to you?  Are you able to exorcise the thought of what might have been if the two of you are still together?  Sometimes we tend to hold on to our past, to the point that we are living in our past already.  Unknowingly, we do things that we are accustomed to.  Unconsciously our thoughts drift back to those days when things are ok, when life is ideal, when you can brave whatever storm in life because you are with your supposedly soulmate.  But now you wonder what went wrong?  The dreaded thing happened to you.  You saw this happened to your friends but not with you? Were you caught off guard?  As I think of my past love, I can just smile and think of the good things.  Reminiscing is good but don’t dwell on it too much.  Just learn from your past, and live with the present.  But is it really that simple? We can say on the surface that we’re ok, that we moved on already, that life is fabulous, that we’re doing spectacularly.  But are we really? How can we say we’ve moved on already when all we can think about is our previous relationhip? That everytime we have a chance to a new love, all we do is compare it with our previous one.  That we make our past relationships as some sort of gauge, a standard where we have to impose on ourselves.  Is there really a timeframe for moving on?  Is there such thing as a graceful exit when it comes to failed relationships?  For me, acceptance is a key to letting go of that lost love.  Just be honest with yourself.  If there’s really no chance to patch things up, then don’t make yourself believe that everything is ok, that you can still weather it.  You have all the right to shed as much tears as you can, to wallow in the pain.  But don’t wallow too much.  Life is so beautiful to spend your lifetime feeling the pain of your past.  You have the whole world ahead of you, waiting with open arms for you to explore.  No matter how cliche it might sound but it’s true, the only way you can set yourself free is to let your past go and let it stay in the past.

The Power of Hope

Hope is what keeps us going.  Hope is that beckoning light at the end of a dark tunnel.  No matter how dim the prospect is, no matter how gloomy our day is, we still strive to move forward, strive for the better because at the end of the day we know everything is going to be alright.  I knew some people who seemed to be ok at the surface but deep inside are struggling, because they feel that it’s the end of the road for them.  What they failed to realize is that there’s always a detour.  If one road closes on you, there’s always that alternate route.  If we fail in a particular endeavour, it’s  because maybe it’s not really meant for us or there’s something better waiting for us.  I remembered vividly when my father died, I was just 16.  I have 3 younger brothers and my mum used to work as an OFW so we were left with no choice but to bear the burden of living without our parents or else we’re gonna end up in the streets if our mother didn’t go back to Singapore.  Hope kept us going.  We knew we’re gonna get there, we’re gonna cross the bridge and arrive at a greener side of the field.  And thank God we did.  I always make it a point to be positive everyday.  I always make myself believe that whatever circumstances that are happening in my life, it’s because they happen for a reason.  It’s my life and I’m the driver of it.  I steer the wheel of my fate.  And that’s what I always keep on telling my family and friends, don’t blame others for what you failed to achieve.  Just believe in yourself, hope for the better. There are those who brave the far flung areas in search of a faith healer, hoping to be healed from an illness.  There are those who never fail to bet on a lottery–everyday, in the hopes of winning millions of pesos and in the end alleviating them from poverty.   Those who never dared to love again, hoping that their lost loved ones will find their away again back to their welcoming arms.  Hope is what’s left for us when everyone seems to abandon us, when opportunities seem to elude us, when everything seems to turn upside down.  What’s gonna happen to us if hope is taken from us? Shall we cease to exist? Just a thought…

When you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Back to the basics

I just came home from a drinking session with my friends and I was enjoying the ride on the way home.  Well it was past 10 in the evening and there were less cars on the road.  Something struck me, something so familiar  and soothing.  The smell of a late evening, the smell of home-cooked meals, the smell of a dense cool air, brushing on my cheeks.  They remind me of those days when life was less complicated.  Those childhood days I spent with my grandparents in the barrio.  There’s a comforting feeling when you are alone in the middle of the night, doing nothing but just listen to the sound of the nocturnal creatures, savoring the sweet smell of fresh grasses, the smell of incense in the air.  Amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life, a respite is most welcome.  Sometimes I wish of having a car so I can drive around during the evenings and simply enjoy the simplicity of life.  No need to jostle in the crowd, no foul smelling smokes coming from old jeepneys, no irritating noises from annoying honking of cars nor the incessant chant-like calling out of street vendors to buy their wares.  Just me, alone and quiet.  Sometimes we forget to appreciate these things.  The melodic sound of the cool breeze, whispering to your ear, enticing, soothing, calming your senses. The dark, starlit sky is enchanting. The vast blanket of clouds that often create an aura of mystery.  I often wonder how it feels like to fly and see the world below.  I live in a big city where time is of the essence.  Where everyone is almost in a hurry.  Where everything is fast-paced.  Sometimes we forget to stop and just take a deep breathe, then clear our thoughts from worries and workloads.  Live life one day at a time.  Go back to the basics, appreciate the simple things that matter.  Love your family, love your friends, and most importantly, love yourself.

Fettuccine Alfredo

Ingredients:

1lb fresh fettuccine
2 1/2 cups heavy cream
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
12 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 cups grated Parmesan
Salt and freshly ground white pepper

Directions:

Cook the pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water until tender but still firm to the bite, stirring occasionally, about 4 minutes. Drain.

Stir 2 cups of the cream and the lemon juice in a heavy large skillet to blend. Add the butter and cook over medium heat just until the butter melts, stirring occasionally, about 3 minutes. Remove from the heat.

Add the pasta and toss. Add the remaining 1/2 cup of cream, and Parmesan to the cream sauce in the skillet. Add the salt, and white pepper. Toss the pasta mixture over low heat until the sauce thickens slightly, about 1 minute.

Note: You can add diced ham or bacon.